Freaking Retro Blog #2: SUMMADAZE Review

My SUMMADAZE Review. Read on kids.....Read on.I didn't sleep the night before SUMMADAZE. Because i was excited? Well yes, that and the people staying in the hotel apartment next door to me were filming a porno because she was screaming with delight and the director was saying things like 'Now spank his ass', so that disturbed me quite a bit. Adds on 5 more years on my much needed psychotherapy. So i started to get ready and was really excited, but i was sick from the night before (1 bottle of vodka; $39. One bottle of wine from the hotel minni-bar; $146.50....getting sick in a kettle chip packet; priceless. Or so said my mates). Feeling a stomach bug which later proved to be gas (which i released on Steph =) ) i didn't think that i would be in the mood for a 12 hour commercial house dance festival, but i paid $100.33 and i would be damned if i let this thing bring me down. So i sucked up my courage and stepped out of the hotel and onto a tram leading to the Sidney Myer Music Bowl with Papa, Steph and a guy called Stone. Random. HAHAHA Lining up in what looked to be a large wait, we started taking photo's and admiring all of the beautiful people. Then, like a sign from god that everything would be okay, Raining Down Love by Moby started playing off in the distance, and a miracle occurred. My stomach pain went away. I was being filled with the infectious beat (not infectious like Genital Crabs but something more powerful and far less irritating) Past the bag check and into the arena we went. Papa obviously knew her way, being the GPRS that she is (and i think she missed her calling in life to be a taxi driver because i think she knows her way around heaps more than they do. And she doesn't smell like back beads and incense) lead us onto the main stage where the fat and sweaty but BRILLIANT John Course was about to take to the turntables and dish up some of his music LOVVVVEEEEEE.As the dancing continued and i was beginning to see that this day would be one of the best days of my life, Dancing in the Moonlight waiting for the Sunrise came on and sent the crowd into a frenzy. We all gave 110% on that dance floor and gave the occasional smile and wave to John Course for those marvellous 5 minuets. Fuck can he spin a track. Papa would marry his if he wasn't so ugly. Her words, not mine.Our first seat break of the day came about 2 and a half hours into our dance fest, and it lasted for about 7 seconds until we heard another track that simply WOULD NOT ALLOW us to sit down. BODYROX. Classic. So up we got and rocked it out for another two hours, ignoring the hunger pains developing in our stomachs and the fact that we lost our body weight in sweat. Just dancing and waiting for that cool breeze to sweep across our faces. That's how life should be. 3:30pm, and an unexpected pleasure would soon fill my ears. The fucking ACE talents of UK dj Darren Emmerson. By this time everyone who had goodies were on them, their eyeballs popping out of their sculls, they were either staring up at the colourful SUMMERDAZE banner overhead, or dancing to a beat that only they heard in their minds (Spun by the intergalactic dj OSMODIAR from planet OMICRON PERSIE 8). A familiar tune filled my mind and took over my body making me rip out dance moves from places i never knew i had. Smack my Bitch up by Prodigy went HAARD. And so did the unbelievable Born Slippy. This guy knew his shit, and made me feel glad for coming, glad for dancing and glad for being able to enjoy some of the finest music out there. Indescribable.Lenny Kravitz and Nirvana were fucking unexpected but FUCKEN WELCOME because they made the crowd go absolutely spastic. Mental retardation is the only word to describe how the crowd reacted to these songs, singing the tune at the top of their lungs and jumping up and down like a mosh pit on 'roids. Along came 6pm. By this time we were full to the brim with Pump water, Gatorade and LIFT at the total cost of our houses and mortgages, and there was soooooo many goodies floating around, in both the powder and pill form that just breathing in would cause you to get stoned for the next 13 minuets. God had given us the perfect day so far, but what he didn't prepare us for was the ultimate SUCKINESS of Basement Jaxx's never-ending two hour set. We took that opportunity to hit the urine flooded toilets. I have never been in a male toilet like this one. It was so full, guys had decided to just piss on the floor and in the sinks and on the walls. There was more piss on the floor than in the toilets themselves. So i pissed in the sink as well (HEY, i needed to fit in). On my way out, i met a girl called Alexandra (who i still haven't called yet!!! FUUUUCK, what am i waiting for?). When alex left with her friends we went back and forced out some dance moves to the crappy Basement Jaxx beat, and then like a falling star from the heavens, down comes .......AXWELLLLLLLLOMG!!!!! How to even describe the genius of this guy. His music was Grade A 100% Pure Axwell Goodness ladies and gentleman......DISCO SHIT!!!! I FUCKEN LOVED THIS GUYS MUSIC that he came out with. Dancing with so much passion made my chest hurt, and i released that i was on the edge of having an Asthma episode. My chest was tightening. Breathing was becoming harder and harder. So i went to sit down, but then it happened. It FUCKEN HAPPENED. Tell Me Why! TELL ME WHY CAME ON AND I GOT GOOSEBUMPS, i swear to you. I forgot about my medical problems and a chill ran up my fucking spine that's how much i enjoyed that song. Dancing like we didn't give a fuck, EVERY person attending stopped:talkingpissingdrinkingsnortingpashinggrinding .....and started DANCING! Best moment of the whole night. Wrapping up the event was Bob Sinclar. World Hold On. Stopped the music at perfect intervals allowing us all to chip in with our shouting. Perfect lighting. Perfect ending to something that feels as though it shouldn't end. EVER. Walking away felt unnatural. Knowing it will be a whole year until the next perfect day made us feel violated. Thinking back at Basement Jaxx's set made us feel raped. What we just experienced made us feel PURE happiness. One of the best days of my life happened that day on the 1st of January 2007. If how you spend New Years Day is how you spend the rest of the year, then we all have a year full of absolute happiness, joy, excitement, partying and XTC (the feeling, not the drug) And for those that didn't get the chance to experience it, it will be your turn next year to feel what i felt, and to write about it on myspace. Having goose bumps caused by music, having a near asthma attack, having lost our body weight in water, having nearly killed someone in the crowd to eat their flesh because i was so hungry, it all seemed worth it, because i honestly believe that i wont that much fun in one day again until SUMMADAZE 2008.So i've given this night 11 Pac-Men out of 10. PERFECT.Peace Out Brothers and Sisters. I'll meet you on the main stage next year.