'Allo all. The Arctic Monkeys concert was on Tuesday the 7th of August, and let me just tell you, life changing shit there....
Jumping in the car at 6:15pm on Tuesday night, all that was running through my head, was a conversation i had that day with my Serbian friend Tanja (QBar Doorbitch for those of you playing at home), and what we talked about is how after waiting for nearly a month for this day to come, the excitability of the event has now worn off. Was that so? i kept asking myself repeatedly in the head. HELL NO!!!!! I was more excited about this than i can remember for any other concert, and that's saying a lot, because i have seen some fucking ace acts in my time.
So we drove down to festival hall, discussing how much we're all looking forward to the music, and how much we freeking love this lads from Rothland (England). The feeling was almost palpable, watching the throngs of people flood toward the venue, singing lines and making feeble attempts to be cool, pretending to be drunk and screaming "MONKEY'S.....YEAH WOOO!". And no, i was not one of them, although i wanted to be, i mean how cool would i be then??? Very cool....very cool is the answer.
As my friends went to the seated area doors (pfffft) and my General Admin friends hadn't arrived yet, i stood outside and waited, lighting a cigerette and dragging the mellow smoke into my already tar filled lungs, knowing that it would be at least 2 hours before i can have another, thank you very much John Howard!!!!!!! FUCKING CUNT, (oooooookay, can someone say addict?)
I couldn't wait anymore, and opted to wait inside, seeing as though people had already entered and were taking a seat infront of the stage on the floor, and i didn't want any shitty standing position (regardless of the fact that i could be standing behind a steel beam and be able to see because of my height). So i sat....and i waited....and made friends.....and waited.....and then my friends came.....and then WE waited.....until i saw the people at the front stand up and run to the barriers, then i knew that it was going to begin..
The supporting act Operator Please were ok, yet you could call them out on their immaturity in the music buisness based on the fact that all their songs sounded kinda same-y (and also to the fact that the oldest person in the band is 18 and she had the BIGGEST tits i have EVER seen, but that's beside the point. Lets focus on her gargantuan titties later).
The lights came back on, and we all waited now, with baited breath for the moment that we had all paid $72 for. Not being able to properly inhale, and my mind on two things (a smoke and the monkeys), i waited and waited...until the audience started to get restless. Everyone started to stamp the floor and clap their hands and scream "ARCTIC MONKEYS>>>>ARCTIC MONKEYS>>>" and then it happened.
The lights all went out, and the boys came up onto the stage accompanied by a MASSIVE roar from the crowd. They put on their instruments (not the drummer of course) and opened with "This house is a circus" which was an odd beggining, but a welcome song non the less, because i had listen to it repeatedly that day. They followed that up with a few new tracks from their album "Favourite Worst Nightmare" and then played one from their previous album "Whatever People Say i Am, That's What i'm Not" . From then on, they played hit after hit, mixing the old with the new, and rocking my inner being. As the crowd went silent and they played the opening to "Do me a Favour" (my absolute favourite song by the lads from England), i was screaming like a 8 year old school girl who just saw JT on the street. I sung along to the words (not well, and a tad nasil-y) but i did, and it was the highlight of my night.
Now let me get to the shitty part. Here's a little something about mosh pits ladies and gentleman. This is a place where everyone their is an avid fan of the music, so you would be absolutly retarded to ask to stand infront of anyone because all you'll get in return is spit in your face and an elbow to the temple (from me anyway). Hahaha. In the pit, its every man, woman, baby, animal and mineral for itself. Cardinal rule, dont give a shit to anyone withing a 360 degree radius around you. Just enjoy the music. OKay, so in the pit, everyone is packed tighter than a pickle jar, and we get whats called the "Crowd Current". Like the ocean, the crowd waves as one, jumps as one, sings as one. So if someone from the back pushes, the whole crowed falls in a snowballing effect, where it gets more violent the futher down the 'current' it goes. And thats what happened.
The crowd current wiped out this 400 tonn girl standing infront of me, and i decided to break the Cardinal Rule of Evryone for themselves, and i decided im going to start to fight people off around her, and try to pick her up. So as i'm hoisting this bush pig onto her hooves (i decide to grab her under the arm, which was a mistake because all i got out of that was a palm full of sweat) and as she was up, someone pushed me over....or the current did at least. So now im ass down on the floor in the middle of a mosh pitt, and people decide, "Hey, lets start jumping", so i got my foot repeatedly jumped on by CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS, until i could get myself up. Blind with pain, i left my primo possition of two rows from the front, to give my foot a much deserved break from the violence. I walked upto the bar, and screamed "THE FUCKERS BROKE MY TOES", so she gave me two free beers, i think just to get me away, but hey, free hooch! I then took my spot, sitting down on the ledge next to the light-effects guy, and watched the monkeys play for me, as i knocked the booze back.
I celebrated the success of the concert outside with a cigerette, and then limped my way back to Sarah's car, which she had parked ontop of a hill. I think what the best part of a concert is not only when they play your favourite song, but when you do EVERYONES head in discussing it on the way home. Especially people who had shitty seats and you were so close you could see the sweat on the lead singers forehead. Good times children.....no....scratch that....FREEKING ACE TIMES.
All in all i'll give the concert 8 flaming electric guitars out of 10. It would have been 10 if, and i want the monkeys to take note of this aswell:
-They had played more songs (ala 505, Riot Van etc.)
-They had come out for an encore
-I didn't get trampled (hahaha trample)
Other than that though, they can be overlooked, i say fuck it, i can still walk and sing and love (lmfao what the fuck am i writting) and i think we should all just WAIT, for the next time they come out, because im coming with a helmet, shin pads and steel capped motherfucking shoes.
Peace ouT, and until next time ;)
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